But, imagine for a moment what unedited human authenticity would actually look like in a corporate setting: colleagues announcing every irritation, managers confessing every insecurity, leaders sharing every impulsive thought or half-baked opinion. Actually, that doesn’t look overly different from many workplaces!
And yet, most of us are well aware of the dangers of pure self-expression, even if the realization comes mostly from analyzing others rather than ourselves. It’s why (most) people don’t shout at their boss when they’re annoyed, why teams don’t openly critique every colleague they find irritating, and why we don’t walk into Monday meetings narrating the full emotional unpacking of our weekend. Okay, some people actually do, but it’s painful to witness and awkward, to say the least. Total honesty is not a virtue, but a reputational hazard.
Strategic self-editing
For that reason, “faking good,” or engaging in strategic self-presentation (adjusting your behavior in order to sacrifice your right of self-expression for the benefit of others, and in turn, yourself), is far more common than we think. Most professionals engage in small, strategic acts of self-editing or impression management every single day; and the best ones are so good at it that they come across as authentic.
Examples include:
- Smiling politely through a tedious meeting you’d rather not attend, because there’s just no point to it.
- Pretending to be more confident than you feel before delivering a presentation, because it makes you seem more competent.
- Downplaying frustration with a colleague to maintain team harmony, because what’s the point of escalating?
- Expressing enthusiasm for a new initiative you suspect may not survive the quarter, because the alternative (expressing your sincere objection) will jeopardize your political cache.
Social grease
To be sure, the above examples aren’t moral failures, but rather, the lubricant that keeps human groups from falling apart. And more often than not, some degree of faking is preferable to complete honesty or radical transparency. For example, most people prefer fake kindness than genuine rudeness, or fake positive feedback to honest criticism.
In line, consider:
