In a study published in PLOS One, the researchers separated participants’ goals into two basic categories:
- Avoidance goals: stopping or preventing an undesired behavior.
“Stop ignoring interpersonal issues between employees.” So is “stop putting off important tasks.” So is “stop watching so much TV.” So is anything you want, or wish, to stop doing or do less often. - Approach goals: adopting a new behavior. “Complete the most important task on my to-do list every day.” So is “Compliment at least one employee every day.” So is “Eat at least one serving of vegetables at lunch and dinner.”
Why does the difference matter? Compared with people who set avoidance goals, people who set approach goals were significantly more likely to stay the course.
Partly that’s because it’s more satisfying to do something you want to do than to avoid something you don’t want to do. For example, for decades I drank a ton of Diet Mountain Dew. When I finally decided I wanted to drink less soda, I set an approach goal: Instead of setting a goal like “Stop drinking Diet Mountain Dew in the morning,” my goal was “Drink water with my protein bar and banana for breakfast.”
Later, I extended my water rule to lunch, and dinner, and snacks. The result, of course, was drinking less Diet Mountain Dew. But I wasn’t avoiding soda; I was “approaching” water.
The same can be true for any habit you want to change. If you tend to avoid getting involved in interpersonal disputes between employees, don’t say you’ll stop ignoring interpersonal issues. Make it your goal to build a better sense of camaraderie and teamwork, and choose activities or behaviors that support your goal.
Maybe you’ll spend a little time each day working in the department where two employees aren’t getting along. Maybe you’ll create situations where people can work together on something positive: A boss of mine once assigned me and an employee I was feuding with to a project with a potentially significant reward, and in the process we quickly ironed out our differences.
