Anyone who has spent time in a workplace knows the “go-to” person. They are the colleague who can figure things out when others cannot, and who steps in when something complicated needs to get done.
Early in your career, becoming that person feels like success. In many ways, it is. Being capable accelerates opportunity. Leaders notice you, people trust you, and your reputation grows.
But over time, something subtle happens. The more capable you prove yourself to be, the more people rely on you.
I call this the capability curse.
The capability curse occurs when someone’s proven ability to solve problems leads others to depend on them for nearly every challenge. With each success, expectations rise. What once impressed becomes the standard, and when something falls short, the disappointment is sharper because the bar became so high.
Ironically, the people who can do the most often end up carrying the heaviest burden.
WHEN COMPETENCE BECOMES A LIABILITY
Early in my career, I was asked to build a database for people analytics. I was a recruiter, not a programmer. My manager handed me a book, recommended a consultant, and said, “Figure it out.”
So I did. I spent nights learning the system and building something that worked. But because I was not a trained developer, it was not perfect. Eventually errors surfaced, and the same people who praised the initiative began to question the system when it did not perform like enterprise software.
It was my first real encounter with the capability trap. If I had refused the assignment, it might have been viewed as a lack of initiative. But once I said yes, the expectation became perfection.
This pattern appears everywhere in organizations. The more capable you are, the more complex problems land on your desk.
THE EXPECTATION GAP
There is another dynamic at play that capable people eventually notice. I think of it as the expectation gap.
When someone not known for solving complex problems manages to fix something, the reaction is often admiration. People say, “Wow, look what they pulled off.” When a highly capable person solves the same problem, the reaction is very different. It is simply expected.
And if the outcome is not perfect, the criticism can be sharper.
I once stepped in to handle a complicated operational issue that belonged to another department. No one else volunteered, so I took it on. Despite raising risks and asking for support, things did not unfold as planned.
When it was over, I was criticized for the outcome. The reason was simple: The expectation for me was higher.
Capability raises the bar and pressure.
WHY CAPABLE PEOPLE STRUGGLE TO SAY NO
So why do capable people keep saying yes?
Part of the answer is practical. They know they can figure things out. When you have a track record of solving problems, it becomes almost instinctive to step in.
But another part is cultural. Many high-performing professionals, especially women, are often expected to be helpers and problem solvers. At work, that can mean filling gaps others avoid. At home, it can mean becoming the unofficial chief logistics officer for everything.
THE LETTUCE VERSUS SALAD LESSON
Later in my career, a founder shared a story that reframed the way I think about capability. He told me his girlfriend once asked him to bring home a salad. Instead, he came back with a head of lettuce. She asked, “What’s this?”
“Lettuce,” he said. “It’s salad.”
She paused, then said, “If I wanted lettuce, I would have asked for lettuce. Never mind. I’ll just buy the salad myself.” And that was the end of it. She never asked him again.
What struck me wasn’t the misunderstanding. It was the expectation that was set. By bringing the lettuce, he defined what he would own and what he wouldn’t. And everything adjusted around that.
We often think expectations are assigned. But more often, they’re set by what we consistently deliver.
Sometimes the most important move is to just bring the lettuce and create space for others to make the salad.
THE WHEELBARROW PROBLEM
Another mentor once explained it to me differently.
“Imagine you have one wheelbarrow,” he said. “Every task you accept goes into it. Eventually it becomes so full that it tips over.”
It is a simple image, but an accurate one. Your capacity is finite. If you keep adding without limits, it will eventually topple.
Capability often encourages people to keep adding more to the wheelbarrow. The solution is not to stop being capable. Instead, become more intentional about what you choose to carry.
HOW TO AVOID THE CAPABILITY CURSE
Highly capable professionals do not need to shrink their ambition. They do need to manage it strategically. Start by deciding where your capability matters most. Before saying yes, ask:
- Is this something only I can do?
- Is this something I could advise on rather than execute?
- Is this something someone else should own?
Not every problem requires your full involvement.
Another shift is moving from doing to advising. Instead of saying, “I will take care of it,” try, “I can help advise the person who owns this.” You still contribute, but you are no longer carrying the full weight.
And if you do step in, clarity matters. One of the most powerful things you can say is: “I’m happy to help, but this is outside my core role and the solution will not be perfect. If it fails, I expect shared responsibility or you will take the responsibility and give me air cover.” That kind of clarity prevents resentment later.
CAPABILITY IS STILL A STRENGTH
None of this means capable people should stop being capable. Capability is what makes someone a versatile leader. It reflects resilience, judgment, and the ability to navigate ambiguity.
But without boundaries, that same strength can quietly become a liability. Being capable should expand your opportunities and not exhaust your capacity. It can also get in the way of doing fewer things better. Leadership is often about focus.
As Morten T. Hansen writes in Great at Work, the highest performers do less and obsess. They do not simply take on more.
The real leadership skill is learning when to build the full salad and when to bring the lettuce.
Tami Rosen is chief development officer at Pagaya.
