How to Show Up With Kindness, Even on Your Toughest Days

“Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.” When I think about how many times I’ve heard that phrase, I’m reminded of how often I don’t adhere to the message. I’d like to take this moment to pause and reflect with you.

Entrepreneurship is a wild ride! One moment you’re sending invoices, the next you’re building reports that may or may not impress board members — and before you realize it, you’ve lost track of how you’re treating the people around you. That includes your team, clients and vendors. Or … is it just me who needs to reset?

Resetting can be good for your overall business, too. According to LRN Corporation’s Benchmark of Ethical Culture study, companies with strong ethical cultures outperform by 40% across employee and client satisfaction, growth and innovation. The ROI on kindness is worth it alone.

Over the last few months, I’ve noticed an almost paradigm shift: The people we work with are stressed and overwhelmed — which I ask, who can blame them? Globally, things are … interesting … and it’s easy to forget to act with patience and kindness (even when you don’t really want to).

I’ve got three tips that help me reset my attitude towards the people around me to maintain or mend relationships. Don’t worry, you won’t have to buy a bunch of flowers to do this.

Pay attention to what’s in front of you

We recently had a situation where a client wasn’t responding to our team as a major deadline was approaching. While we were brainstorming, it was brought up that the client was showing signs of stress — short email responses, forgetting small details, etc. I suggested to my team member to ask the client how we can make their week easier. This wasn’t a direct, “Hey, you seem stressed” call out, but rather a gentle nod to remind them that we’re attentive to their needs and readily available to assist.

How much of a relief would it be for someone to recognize when we’re stressed and offer to do whatever we need to get through the week? How would you feel if the unspoken was tended to? My guess? Pretty good, reassuring and comforting. That’s how I like my clients to feel, and it only takes a moment to reset the tone and to remember that empathy isn’t just about feeling — it’s really the action that makes a change.

Ask how they’re doing

Our colleagues likely won’t always express what’s going on in their lives. And trust me, I know it’s none of our business to ask specific or prying questions. I often imagine, “What if this person seldom has time to express anything?” Simply using the first two minutes of a call with “friendlies” is a way to both build the relationship and learn about what’s going on in the other person’s day.

And in terms of resetting, when you allow other people to open up and speak, it gives you the chance to reflect on the urgency of whatever strong emotion you might’ve been feeling just moments before. Use the space between them speaking and your stress to breathe a little bit.

For me, this tip really recentered me on a day I was having the toughest morning: My car wouldn’t start, and my kids were late to school, which made me late to the office. I was a mess!

As I rushed through my morning meeting, I asked the other person how their day was going, to which I was shocked to hear that the night before, they had to put their dog down. That’s a way to knock you back to reality! I was able to move on from my “bad day” and be kinder to people that day.

Reread that email

And read it again with a slightly different perspective. I find that the written word lends itself to misinterpretation — a lot. Revisiting the first point, while a short email response might feel rude or dismissive, how you receive the response is equally important. So give it a little grace. They are just words after all. Reread the email, text, feedback, etc., as plainly as the words are written.

Is there a reason that you are taking offense to anything? Is the email unclear and requires a quick clarifying phone conversation? Reread the email without the emotion attached. Because if you respond based on perceived anger and the other party didn’t actually have poor intentions, now you’ve just put yourself in an unnecessary situation.

Reread the email, and you might catch the joke or the awkwardness mistaken for dryness. In my experience, when I feel ready to respond or react to an email that comes across as rude, I ask, “What if they didn’t mean it that way?”

There are many ways you can reset your attitude towards people: Take a light walk in between meetings, listen to calming music, sit alone for a few moments before reengaging — whatever works for you, do it! And when it comes to the people you spend the most time with — and let’s face it, it isn’t always family — find ways to get through that tough meeting with the tough client by treating them the way you’d want to be treated.

“Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.” When I think about how many times I’ve heard that phrase, I’m reminded of how often I don’t adhere to the message. I’d like to take this moment to pause and reflect with you.

Entrepreneurship is a wild ride! One moment you’re sending invoices, the next you’re building reports that may or may not impress board members — and before you realize it, you’ve lost track of how you’re treating the people around you. That includes your team, clients and vendors. Or … is it just me who needs to reset?

Resetting can be good for your overall business, too. According to LRN Corporation’s Benchmark of Ethical Culture study, companies with strong ethical cultures outperform by 40% across employee and client satisfaction, growth and innovation. The ROI on kindness is worth it alone.